Three steps forward, not enough back

If you forget to take a step back from life it can become dangerous; I had forgotten this until recently, and then I stepped back. Soon I realised how much I was getting caught up with the here-and-now of the world; and forgetting how much I have be focusing inwardly on my own wants and desires. Because of this, it has suddenly dawned on me how much I have been neglecting friends, family and God. Because of the here-and-now I haven’t bothered to get in contact with friends, in Liverpool or at home, as much as I ought, and there is no real excuse for this other than the fact that I am human, and because of this can be selfish, and to be frank a nasty piece of work.

That said we cannot use that as an excuse, as if we truly are Christians we are dead to our sinful nature; though I can feel mine frantically clutching onto my heel as I walk hand-in-hand with Christ; trying to grapple me back, desperate for me to feel sorry for it, bend down and help it up. As long as I cling onto Christ this won’t happen, though the thought terrifies me.

As regards my family, I saw them today for the first time since the Christmas holidays. Being with them today really brought back to me the life I have left behind at home; it reminded me of all the friends that I don’t speak to anymore, or am barely in contact with. For the first time in a long time I really wanted to go home. The familiarity and security is what I miss most; at home I have a place, at home I have a purpose. I am still trying to work out what my place and purpose is up here in Liverpool. I have met so many wonderful people, all amazing in their own right; and God has provided for my every need and more, but I don’t feel like I am truly at peace here; not yet.

As regards my focus on God, I am only thankful that He is a loving and patient God, who can forgive. I know that by his Grace, and his Grace alone, I have been saved, and that He will guide me through even the rockiest paths. Due to this I have a new found want for Him, and everything that He delights in; I cannot wait to serve God with my life. I have no idea what He wants me to do with it yet; but I’m sure He will make that apparent soon.

I urge you my brothers and sisters to also take a step back and reassess what you are doing with your lives; it is not until you really take the time to analyse your own thoughts, deeds and reasons that you really see where you are going wrong. But beware, we are all sinners and therefore every one of us can improve. So if you do take a step back, you may not like what you see; I know I didn’t.

On the Brink

Everyone, without exception, takes life for granted;
Until it’s too late.
Think of the days, weeks, months and years
Wasted doing nothing.
All the time you lay in bed for that extra five minutes
Could’ve been spent helping the poor
Or curing the sick.
We could make the blind see, or the cripple walk
If only we could be bothered.

But,
As we are, our human nature, our very personality
Battles against the thought of a selfless act,
Or a kind deed.
We are constantly at war,
If not with others, then with ourselves.

Do you know what it’s like
To entertain the thought of losing a loved one;
Someone in their prime of life.
Your very soul seems drained, the pit of your stomach
Empty.

You fell helpless, your words lifeless.
You pray that instead it was you, who was
Ill, beaten, cursed, laid aside, broken; neglected.
You’d rather die than see the life force drain from their eyes.
But,
All you can do is watch.

You could kind of understand if they had done something wrong,
Something to deserve it.
But,
An innocent child;
One yet to experience the trials and tribulations and life,
To delve into the realms of love or even have a child;
What have they done to deserve such a future?

Look at it from their perspective. The thought of your life ending,
When it’s only just begun.
The thought of leaving the people you love.
You’ve planned so many tings to see,
So many things to do
But,
There is no time.

What can be done?

I have found that if you take a step backwards,
You get to see the tapestry of life
From a different perspective;
Instead of seeing the individual threads
You get a view of the completed masterpiece.
Self-pity tails into a downward spiral
One sympathetic look at yourself leads to another,
And another.
It becomes harder and harder to see things as they are
And easier and easier to blame others for your depression.

You need to be proactive when it comes to life.
You can either wait for it to grab you by the feet
Or you can dive right in.

But remember to step back every once in a while
So that you can view the tapestry,
Therefore ensuing that the meaning is not lost;
For what’s the point of a tapestry
If you can’t see the meaning behind it.


Take Care and God Bless

Daniel