Note: wrote this a few weeks ago, just didn’t get round to posting it; enjoy, if that is indeed the right word, though I don’t think it is; more like reflect I suppose.
Anyways…
I know that for many of us looking in the mirror is a scary thought, and for the rest of us, quite frankly, it really should be. I’m afraid this post is more of a sombre, honest evaluation of where I’ve been at over the last couple of weeks.
Although I have been enjoying my time at home, I have been aware that there has been a gaping hole in my life, as the days have seemed to meld into one, lethargy became my soul occupation. This, I have blamed on many things; ranging from “settling in” back at home, a general post-exam laziness. Never once though, did I blame myself – there was always something to contribute to my downfall which I couldn’t be held responsible for.
This week however, I am staying at a Christian conference in Aberystwyth. This may be alien to many of you; basically it’s a place where loads of Welshie’s (no racism intended) meet up to discuss God. There are two main meetings, Tuesday to Friday; it’s like church (or chapel as the Welsh would say) for four days straight! To be completely honest, I really wasn’t looking forward to the prospect of coming this year, and I can’t exactly say I’ve been blown away by the daily activities. For those who don’t know where Aberystwyth is, it’s a relatively small sea-side town in Wales, with a few main-steam shops, a promenade and a pebbly beach. Down the rod there is a "lush” (this apparently means great, fantastic and “boss”, though it just makes me think of grass!). The only problem is that this year it has been consistently raining all week, pretty much non-stop. Being cooped up inside has really dampened my spirits, as I’m one of those people who has an extremely short attention span, and as a result, I have to be doing something all the time. This has lead to me almost feeling resentful of coming to the conference at all; I mean what’s the point of coming to a Christian Conference if all it’s going to do is rain; note intended sarcasm.
All these things put me in an even more negative mood when it came to the meetings; I mean how can some old welsh guys really know what I need to hear? It was at this moment I had one of those shrinking moments, you know the ones that make you feel as big as a fresh garden pea. Although these old Welshie’s may not know what I needed to hear, God certainly did and praise Him for His glorious wisdom.
On Monday night we were spoken to on the following passage: -
James 1:19-25 (NIV)
Listening and Doing
“My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent and humbly accept the word planted in you, which can save you.
Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.”
I’ll let you re-read and digest this, as it is really powerful stuff. Please read it again, slowly trying to imagine yourself in as both of these men looking in the mirror. Now I’m not here to preach to you, as I myself am neither qualified, nor perfect in these matters, but which man are you more like, honestly? I know which one I was that night.
The very first verse summed it up to me;
“Quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind listening to people, and am always happy to help, but the bit about slow to speak, and slow to anger rally isn’t me. I mean, I can’t think of the last time I passed up an inappropriate sarcastic comment, or got frustrated at the slightest (not actually relevant or important) thing. I know we all do this from time to time, but I really felt like this time, God really he me pinned to the wall; and does he leave it there? Of course not; like any good father trying to teach his son a lesson he keeps pressing the point so that I was left in no doubt.
Quickly imagine a large, well-built 6”2ft man physically cowering in his chair (or pew) to the words coming out of the mouth of a 60+ year old man. Now imagine that man actually shrinking in size, till he was the same size as a bit of fluff left on the chair by a previous occupant’s woollen jumper. That’s how I felt when God knocked me for six (cricketing expression for those among us who aren’t well educated) with the simple question of: -
“Do YOU look in the mirror, but forget what you look like as soon as you’ve left the house?”
This, to many of you, may seem like a trivial question, but you only need to look at my unkempt hair to see this is true about me. Now, try applying the same question as a metaphor to your spiritual life. I think the best way to describe his is with the analogy the speaker used on that day: -
“Imagine you saw a blemish on your face as you quickly glanced in the mirror. What do you do? Do you just leave it and rush out, after all you are already late for work, or do you move closer to see what the problem is? Of course you move closer, as each blemish will would need different treatment. If it was a pimple it may need squeezing, but if it was a more serious blemish, like a rash, you may need to go and get a prescription from the doctors, before it gets worse, or spreads.”
At first, the whole visual image of the speaker squeezing his “pimples” in the mirror make me chuckle to myself, but on further reflection you can see what he meant. Many of us, myself included, just try to cover up problems/gaps in our lives with short fix answers. Very rarely do we actually take time to look at what the underlying problem is. We need to spend more time right with God. This can be a painful process, after all not many of us enjoy pointing out our faults to others, let alone to the most High Supreme, but trust me it works.
Although it is still raining here in Wales, and my hair is still as unkempt as ever, I know that I will try to look in the mirror as much as possible, to make sure three are no new pimples to squeeze, or rashes coming back.
I’ll pray you do the same.
Take Care
Daniel
